I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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