i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
