Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
