I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
