I love black thongs
id be glad to
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
