So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
