a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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