My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
