And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
