my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
