we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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