his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
