VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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