Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
