just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
