smell my finger.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
should my penis look like a turkey
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
