Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
