before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
