i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
