Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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