My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
