I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
