just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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