Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
