and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
