somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
