He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
