i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
