i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
