Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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