please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
