Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
