just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You ever have a fart follow you around?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
