i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
