My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
