Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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