you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
