mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
