return my video game
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
