I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
