i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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