So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
