how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
