Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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