i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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