So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
There's even glitter on my cock...
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