a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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