they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
