Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
