I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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