I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
