Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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