I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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